I am really enjoying writing these flash fiction stories. I love the potential inspiration they can imbibe. This particular story is less than 900 words. Flash fiction needs to be somewhere between 500 – 1000 words.
This story may seem a little glib at first when you read it. In fact, it may seem a little uncharacteristically violent for this website, but I assure you, the ending is intended to show our connectedness to one another and how all our actions affect others – no matter how small they seem.
If you want more proof about how every action you take can – quite literally – affect generations of people after you, take a look at my post on the Butterfly Effect.
[bctt tweet=”Sometimes we have no idea how our lives will affect those of others.” username=”n2itvnspiritual”]
I hope you enjoy!
A Life, Affected
The man in the ballcap waved the pistol in the air. Devon wondered if bullets fired in the subway car would ricochet and hit multiple things. He bit his lip.
How had he arrived here?
It didn’t start just last night. It started in the previous century.
Devon was downsized and made irrelevant. The job he’d had for 20 years had made him obsolete. He was 50 years old and looked for a job for 6 months to no avail. How could he compete with the twenty-somethings who were faster and more adept with the 21st century?
He was made for the 20th century. Even his wife said so.
He’d been so busy looking all over the city for suitable work the last few months, he never gave a second thought to the oil change his car needed. There was no money. No time. He started delivering pizzas. When the engine seized, he’d cursed himself for being so negligent, followed by a phone call from his boss: no car, no job.
Perhaps every single one of the interviewers – all twenty-two of them across nineteen companies – smelled his misfortune and wanted nothing to do with him.
When his only daughter perished in her car after missing a deer on her way back to college, his wife spoke of defeat and too much loss.
Last night, when he returned from a late interview, he discovered his wife’s note: I can’t do this anymore.
He grabbed a bottle of Tennessee whisky. It was a leftover relic from holidays-past with layers of dust covering the bottle. Maybe he could numb the barrage of sorrow that consumed his thoughts.
He stood in the kitchen, staring at the bottle. His eyes wandered over to a crumpled paper on the counter: a foreclosure notice, next to his wife’s note.
Soon he’d be out of a home. The auction was two weeks away. His hand shook the letter as he sobbed alone in the darkness. He slid down to the floor and lay in a teary crumpled mess and later unraveled his tie to stuff under his head.
When he woke up, it was still dark. He looked over at the bottle of whisky. The cap was still off, but the contents were otherwise untouched. Screw it, he thought.
He grabbed his jacket. Why he even bothered to grab it, he wasn’t sure. He already knew he wasn’t going to live to see the sunrise. He’d made his choice.
The air pierced his skin through his suit pants. He walked nearly two miles to the nearest subway station. His dress shoes nearly made him fall three times as he walked over patches of black ice with their worn soles. He smiled at the thought. Maybe he’d give himself a fatal concussion before he got there.
He knew exactly where he was going to do it. He didn’t bother leaving a note behind. No one would care anyways.
He bought his pass – the last one he would ever purchase. It would probably overdraw his bank account if it wasn’t already.
He passed Midway Station. He watched the signs and lights pass in blurred lines through the tunnels. Only three more stops to the perfect platform where it was dark and he could pass into oblivion silently. Unnoticed.
His thoughts picked up. The closer he got, the faster they rolled.
He was too busy in his own head to notice the fellow with a faded ballcap and camo pants stand up in the cabin. At first, no one paid him any attention. But then he took out a pistol.
Devon blinked. He couldn’t believe that this idiot was probably going to make him miss his stop. But maybe this was his end. Devon took short breaths as he planned his next move.
“SHOOT ME!” he screamed, jumping up. He stole a glance at the lone mother with an infant swaddled on her chest. He’d be damned if another life were adversely affected by his own.
Devon was at the opposite end of the car, making his way toward Ballcap Guy. “Stop waving that thing. Shoot me already!”
Ballcap Guy appeared stunned and stood still. He put his hands over his ears and screamed. “MAKE IT STOP! MAKE THEM STOP! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Don’t come any closer or I’ll shoot!” He waved the gun in any direction there was a person.
“Exactly!” Devon shouted back.
Ballcap Guy pointed it toward the woman holding the baby. “Maybe I’ll shoot her!” Devon watched as he cocked the gun and aimed it toward her.
“NO!” He lunged in the air, aiming straight for the mother.
Devon opened his eyes. He was in a sterile-looking room. He heard a beeping sound. He tried to move, but couldn’t.
A television was on over in the corner. He wouldn’t have paid attention except that he saw his face.
The words, “Hero” were inscribed below his photo. He heard the news reporter announce, “The man in the ballcap has already pled insanity to the charges. Devon Jones remains in stable condition. It’s remarkable! His steel business card case stored in the left pocket of his shirt absorbed most of the force of the bullet!”
Devon didn’t hear the rest of the report. His attention turned to his wife who had quietly come in the door.
Thank goodness this was 900 words, as I held my breath the entire time I read it, dear Cynthia.
This was a powerful example of violence with a message. You are a compelling and talented writer.
I’m imagining a collection of these stories … I’ll be sending more autograph labels when that time comes… 🙂
PS- A card is on the way with some labels, as we had ‘discussed’…
Love your writing and you too, Maria
Maria – Hehe, did you really!? Oh that makes my day! 😁 So glad you enjoyed the read. It is a little glib, that story, but as I wrote, I knew that a positive message would be the outcome. I’m getting my practice here.
As far as the collection of stories – well, you’ve caught me. Red handed. Hehe. I anticipate making a collection of these. I am finding that after all the other novels I’ve written, writing these much shorter stories really serves me well. Thank you also for giving me a head’s up about the card that’s coming. I’ll know to look for it and will let you know in return when I get it. Love your feedback, YOUR writing, and you, too! 😘
Wow, Cyndi! Seriously I was holding onto the edge of my seat the whole time here. The ending though was truly inspiring and loved reading how there are still some good in this world and to have have hope still. Hugs and Happy Monday to you now!! xoxo <3
Janine – hehe, I’m psyched that you enjoyed the story. I was trying to create some suspense and it sounds like my approach worked just fine. Hehe. There really is so much good in this world. It’s all too easy to focus on the negative, but with a dose of positive energy, we can move mountains. 🙂 Hugs and happy, happy Monday to you, too! 😘
Flash fiction is a fun way to ply our trade without investing too much time to it. 🙂 You do it well. This moves with lightning speed, racing towards an ending we cannot see. Well done, Lil Sis!
Enjoy the heck out of your week!
Big Bro, you’re right. And you know what? I’ve been thinking about you and how you’ve continued – persistently – writing over at HubPages. I’m writing a hub today. I miss it and I miss the community. I remember you saying once that you wrote over there for the community and to hone your craft. Wise words, Big Bro. I’m comin’ back. Thank you for saying, “well done” – coming from an author such as yourself, this is a high compliment to me. Thank you for making my day! 😍 Enjoy the heck out of YOUR week and I’ll see you on the “internets” lol.
Engaging story and wonderful ending. Kudos Cynthia!
Brad – thank you so much! I hope you have a fabulous week and I look forward to YOUR awesome stories. 😄
You had me at the edge of my seat, Cyndi! Wow! You really did pack a punch in that flash fiction 😀
Christy – hehe, thank you. Thank you for coming by and so glad you enjoyed this. So good to see you, sweet friend! I definitely spent WAY too many hours trying to perfect this story, but it was well worth it. 💝
Wonderfully weaved dear Cynthia, you had me hanging onto every word.. And towards that last paragraph my eyes were stinging with the held back tears.. Arrgh such is life when its lived right up to the edge.. And everything and everything is all meant to be so just in the moment..
Brilliantly written .. And thought provoking into how our lives are already mapped out to some degree.. Its all a matter of Choice.. and choosing that which is right, at the right time.. 😀
Love and Blessings and MEGA hugs your way xx
Sweet Sue – thank you! Hehe…I do love a good story and there seems to be a shortage of inspirational stories that make you want to become better and make better decisions using, perhaps, a magical element. Life, lived right up to the edge. There’s no way that’s more exhilarating, no? Hehe. I also love your thought-provoking comment, and your feedback: this is helpful to me as I learn/write/craft more stories. Choosing that which is right, at the right time…THIS.
Love and blessings to you. I hope you’ve had a wonderful week weaving more stories yourself! And I was thinking about you and your poem the other day…I hope that’s going well, too. Are you illustrating it?
Hi Dear Cynthia,
I loved your story telling. And Although I did a lot of work and did a separate chapter, which could well be a small story book for a child in poem.. My art is no where near good enough to do it justice.. No it is shelved right now but only temporary .. I hope to come back to it soon..
See this is the thing.. I get side tracked, Knitting, painting, I want to do it all.. 😀 haha… Garden, walk, play barbies with our granddaughter hehe… teaching her to knit.. 🙂 And then I want to withdraw, go into my quiet space, Just BE..
And so things get left for a while then I come back to them..
I will get there..
So happy to have caught your reply.. Hope your week went well, and your weekend a peaceful one..
Sending HUGE hugs as I shut down to rest for the evening.. I have had three hours on here which is long enough.. 🙂
Love Sue xxx <3 xxx
Sweet Sue – that’s so awesome. I take after you! Hehe. I love doing so many different things and THAT is precisely why I entitled the blog the way I did: sometimes I can get talking about meditation, and other times I can do artsy things, and other times I can tell stories. 🙂 Your art is incredible – never, ever forget that. And I’m glad that it’s only temporarily shelved. I taught myself how to knit…even sold bunches of blankets and scarves knitted up with big needles, hehe. But then…moved on to other things! And then there’s drawing…and gardening…and so many wonderful things to try. I can so relate. And the just BE part. I need to work on that. HOWEVER, I heard a podcast about how in today’s world, we’re just always going to be bombarded with distractions: from technology to lights and sounds, to busy schedules. While taking time to “be” is ideal – and preferably in a natural setting – she was suggesting (and I really needed to hear this) that while it’s probably impossible to truly take a day off, we can be mindful in how we approach all our tasks to avoid burn out. Not that you need to do this at all. I’m more reiterating this for myself and anyone who reads this comment and is trying to cut down on daily havoc – just really, intentionally find peace in the moment, take breaths, focus on the activity, get it done, and move on to the next thing. Ahh, I suppose that applies for all the things we do. 🙂 I hope you had a peaceful weekend, sweet friend! Sending you HUGE hugs and I hope you had a lovely Sunday evening. I do so enjoy our conversations. <3
Thank you Cynthia, I smile as I nod my head at all you have said. Yes so alike in many ways, especially when I was a little younger I was a sponge, 🙂 soaking up everything.. 🙂
And yes my weekend a very quiet one, preparing for my winter break next week in Bonny Scotland. I think often we come across material that brings home to us these reminders of how we need to take care of our own personal space and our own BE-ing first. We often put ourselves at the bottom of the list of things to take care of..
I learnt the hard way.. And since retiring, I have learnt to put Self more first without it feeling Selfish..
🙂
Now I need to go see what you have posted this week 🙂 xxx <3
Sue – oh yes, a sponge. I love reading so many books about exploration – of the mind, the soul, the heart, and do develop our skills. Bonny, Scotland? I had to look that up. I have a dear friend Stateside who absolutely loves to go to Scotland. And my husband is descended from the Scottish – the Colquhoun clan. His family says they have a castle over there and that we should like to visit someday. That would be incredible.
As for BE-ing. You know, after work on Tuesday, I kept the computer off. I read some, spent time watching a favorite television show with husby, and just let my mind wander and rest. On Wednesday, I did some work, but my body and mind were asking to take a step back. So, I did. Just did the minimum and went about my day. And yesterday, I was inspired to write more flash fiction stories (apparently I have awakened my own Pandora’s box with those…I love writing them!) while I put two dishes in the slow cooker for Thanksgiving. Half an hour of prep, and I let the slow cookers to the rest. When I presented them at my mother in law’s, it looked like I had done so much work, but in fact had spent the day writing! HA! Oh, life’s little glorious things. 🙂
Thank you for your sweet words. Now I get to take a look at your other comment. xoxo
Now that sounds like a perfect Thanksgiving, doing what you love to do the best.. And enjoying it.. Love dishes created in the slow cooker..
I made a lovely roasted butternut squash and apple soup yesterday with onions garlic and springs of rosemary with a sprinkle of chilli on roasted pumpkin seeds to sprinkle on top.. First time in the making and it will not be the last.. 😀
When we chill out, we get more done.. And wonderful that Scottish blood is in the family.. 😀 <3
Sue – it was really nice. It’s also been a nice few days chilling out at home, exercising, reading…lovely. 🙂 Roasted butternut squash and apple soup with rosemary sounds heavenly. Wow! I want to come to your house! Or…at least we shall meet up for tea someday. xoxo