That which I’m experiencing as I’m going through meditation teacher training is…profound
As soon as I got back from traveling out west, my I began my coursework. Each week brings a new unit of material to study, along with the prescribed reading, writing, reflecting, and working on my meditation practice. I thought it might be fun to share with you what I’m experiencing as I’m going through meditation teacher training. I can tell you that it’s a life-changing experience.
It’s like a retreat
You may know that I work for a school three days per week. I then spend four days at home. I have arranged my schedule so that the bulk of my coursework falls on the four days that I’m at home.
Over the course of those four days, I get to practice a lot of mediation. I sit for an hour each morning, and about a half hour in the afternoons. Later, I might incorporate some walking meditation, and a little yoga (the physical exercise). I also engage in mindfulness (focusing on the breath as I go about my activities) as much as I can.
As part of that, all the reading I’m doing supports my practice. I’m reading about meditation styles, its history, techniques, and what meditation does to the brain. I then apply what I’ve learned to my meditation, or I reflect and write about it in a journal.
I am in quite a calm, blissful state as I head off to work my day job after four days of intense study. This time away from home becomes a sort of “testing ground” to apply what I’ve learned in the real world. I feel as if I’m on a meditation retreat, with a few days of regular work built in every week.
I feel connected
This connection is happening in a way I have never experienced. To those I love, I just feel more love. Gathering with family or friends just puts me into a grateful mood, even if there are differences among us (as you will inevitably have with family). I can’t help but give more hugs, smiles, and words of encouragement.
To those that I’m acquainted with, I feel more of a sense of connectedness with regard to the human experience. I sense more about people in general – what they’re feeling, what they might be going through, and where they’re going. In that way, I can decide whether they might need a hug at that point in time or just some space. I still feel compelled to send blessings to everyone I meet.
To those with whom I feel neutral or even some measure of disagreement, I feel an increased sense of compassion. There is still love there, as well. It’s just a bit different. It has become much easier to see these folks as a beating heart who needs as much love as someone I truly love. It’s easier to see that even though they may not share the path upon which I walk, I can still appreciate their humanness. It is easier to sense their hopes and desires, insecurities and doubts. Because of that, it’s easier to send them love and it helps to keep my own judgements in check (though I do not claim perfection!).
I feel more compassion – for all things
Along with that connectedness, I have an increased sense of compassion for all living things. Apart from the human connections I mentioned above, I find myself smiling at everything from squirrels to snakes, to gently blowing the occasional little black ant off my computer. I recognize that all beings have a right to live and deserve a little help now and then.
It is this sense of growing compassion that also drove me to become vegetarian a couple years ago. I desire for everything to live out its life as normally and freely as possible.
In addition, this has made me extremely aware of the needs of the planet. I want for all the trees to remain standing, the hillsides to remain uncultivated, and for there to be less humans around using resources – in the sense that we take responsibility for our exploding population. In recognizing this need, however, I also know that this is a massive issue that cannot rest solely on my shoulders. I can only do my part – whatever that looks like – to help create a better world for the next generation, and when I falter, I can strive to improve.
Compassion For Myself
Compassion for the self is incredibly important to move forward in one’s practice. One of the tenets in meditation is to “be kind to yourself.” In doing so, I am learning that I am capable of so much AND THAT I am only capable of so much. I strive to do my best, but sometimes that looks different when I’m tired or spent, versus when I’m just beginning my work. If I honor and treat my body as a temple, I am giving it a reason to maintain balance and health.
There’s also Ayurvedic medicine and body types. This ancient practice was honed 5,000 years ago and still persists today. Our ancient brothers and sisters were on to something with that knowledge. If we eat right, exercise, and do activities right for our body/mind/spirit type, we can increase the odds that our bodies will remain active and healthy until the day we no longer walk the planet.
I feel calmer
As a “side effect” to meditation, I’m finding that because I focus on breathing and “letting my thoughts go,” it becomes easier in the rest of my day to repeat that pattern. I focus on the breath and acknowledge thoughts and feelings as they come, and then I work on releasing them. This brings me right into the present.
In this habit of focusing on the breath, I know to take deeper breaths when I start to feel stressed or overwhelmed.
I engage in Pranayama, otherwise known as breathing exercises. They can help during the course of the day to help you to oxygenate the brain, or tone it back, depending on if you’d like to be more alert, or more relaxed. These also go a long way in reducing stress, and maintaining calm.
To be sure, I’m naturally a fairly bubbly person, but I am finding that my happiness and blissful states are in higher frequency, as well. Not always – I still feel the full range of emotions that we’re all programmed to feel. I still experience anger, resentment, sadness, despair, happiness, love, hope, peace, love and everything between. However, there is a more tempered feel to these emotions: I become aware of them, acknowledge them, and I am getting better at releasing them. I try not to “hold on” for too long.
I feel more mindful
I’ve already mentioned that I am more mindfully engaged in my day. But I have tried to incorporate mindful eating whenever possible, mindful writing, mindful sitting, mindful cleaning, and any other activity – everything can become a mindful activity.
I never liked baths very much. Showers were fine. I’d even say that some of my best ideas would come in the shower. Up until last week, I hadn’t taken a bath in years – at least four or five years. Reading about how my body type might benefit from a nightly bath, I decided to try it. I can tell you that I haven’t slept this well in a long time! For me, this little change works!
When I remember to go about my day focusing on my breathing. I stop thinking about other people in a judgmental way. I refrain from thinking about what’s for dinner, what I should have said (or shouldn’t have), what I want (to buy, to do, to be, to try), distant dreams. These are all things that contribute to anxiety. I just let all that mind clutter go, and move into the present. It’s a glorious feeling!
I get insights
I’ll ask a question and often the answer burns itself into the screen of my mind. Little things. Big things. It’s as if I’m learning to tap into a well of intuition that has been patiently waiting for me to draw from it my entire life!
Granted, I have already tapped into this well, but it’s almost as if it’s become a spring – a flow of steady information that allows me a sense of connectedness to myself and others.
The answers to life’s greatest questions, I’m finding, lie within. They are encrypted into our DNA and if we get still enough, silent enough, the answers will reveal themselves.
Sharing in the journey
I just wanted to share what I’m feeling and experiencing as I continue my training. After this week, I will be halfway through. It’s going fast, and well-worth the effort.
Aw, truly sounds like an amazing and awesome journey so far. So glad it is going so well and truly happy to be able to understand this a bit better here today with your explanation and summary thus far. Thanks for sharing with us and wishing you another wonderful week ahead now. Happy Monday and hugs, my friend xoxo <3
Janine – thank you sweet friend. It is a good journey. It goes well and so many changes are happening. Wishing you another wonderful week as well and sending you big hugs. Thank you – always – for your sweet comments.
It sounds like a great program you’re going through Cynthia and nicely integrated into your work and life. Kudos on the insights, compassion, and growing connection with self and others. I’m following your example and meditating more lately and also notice a calming influence. May we bring our peace and compassion into the world. Blessings, Brad
Brad – thank you for your awesome comment. 🙂 It is pretty incredible. The founder of the meditation institute worked closely with Deepak Chopra. It’s a great program. So glad you’re meditating more – you already have a big, compassionate heart. The meditation will bring more of that out and it just…changes things. I can’t quite explain it. But it will be good. And yes, may we both continue to strive to bring peace and compassion into the world. Blessings to you!
Thank you Cynthia!
Lil Sis, I am beyond proud of you. You are forging forward, cutting a new path for yourself, and sharing it with thousands, helping others to lead a better life. That’s not a bad legacy at all. Hugs to you on this hot Monday!
Big Bro – well, you are pretty remarkable yourself. And thank you. 🙂 Thank you for all your support and kindness over the years. Yup – moving forward, both of us. Cutting new paths always. I hope to share it far and wide – and leave that as a legacy. You are a special person, my friend. Keep on keeping on for your inspire ME.
Beautiful insights and feedback about this training – I can only imagine the ripple effect as you share your knowledge and compassion with us and your future students.
Thanks for this update – keep up the heart-centered work, dear Cynthia.
Love, hugs and peace, Maria
Maria – Sweet friend! Thank you. I so hope, so, so hope to spread the word about meditation – even done in a secular way has immense, IMMENSE benefits. I can’t wait to share more about it. Thank you for all your kindness, support and love. You are one person who helps keep my heart centered and motivated to do this work. Sending you love, hugs and peace as well. Have a wonderful week!
Meditation is such a powerful gift we give ourselves and all those we encounter. It allows us to detach from the relative, the worldly, and join with the absolute. Reading about your training fills me with serenity, Cynthia. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us ❤️
Sweet Tina! Isn’t it!? Isn’t meditation such a powerful gift. I “feel” my brain changing. I feel more blissful and happy. Sure, I am still myself. And there are absolutely times when I fall into a funk or can’t let an emotion go. But those times are getting fewer and farther between. I love that: “detach from the relative, the worldly, and join with the absolute” – I love this. And you get it. It’s an incredible journey. One that I wish for everyone – even though we all have our own path. Meditation just makes life more…alive and incredible. I love sharing about this journey in the hopes that it inspires others to “sit” for awhile. 🙂 Sending you hugs and wishes for an incredible week! xoxo
I feel your joy, Cynthia. It’s absolutely wonderful! Hugs back to you, my friend ❤️
Tina – just wanted to say thank you for the hugs – I FEEL them. And I am grateful. <3
This made me smile and actually feel incredibly calm reading. I was practicing deep breaths as I read haha! So proud of you for finally taking this calling of your heart and it’s so interesting to read about it, and the effects it’s having on you. It’s going to be AMAZING when you’re qualified, what an achievement for 2018!! I’m still struggling to meditate for as long as I want each day, but I’ve started small – 5 minutes at a time and I use Insight Timer – a free meditation app that has all kinds of music, nature sounds, and even prayer on! I absolutely love it. I’m also using Pacifica – it’s a mental health tracker and it also has some amazing meditations on there. Baby steps! Have a wonderful week friend. Will catch up with you soon! xx
Melanie – see? Hehe. All it takes is bringing awareness to the breath. No matter what you believe or the path you walk, going back to the breath is going back to our core and finding what has always been there: the true meaning of “I AM.” Hehe. Me and my little soliloquisms (and I love that word – I had to look it up right before using it here, but somehow it was what came to mind. A soliloquy is “speaking one’s thoughts aloud regardless of who is listening; a speech, homily, comment or aside”). I have wanted to do this for a long, long time. Before the master’s degree. Before this website. Before, before. I am enjoying the journey and when I finish, the world will have to WATCH OUT! Hehe. smiles Oh, friend. Thank you for your support on this journey. Sending you the biggest hugs. I totally use Insight Timer. I love that app! I have my presets on there for meditation with the timer. I’m “Cynthia in Asheville” on there. I tried to find you but alas, I couldn’t. Will you find me? I would love that. <3 I’ll look into Pacifica, as well. Thank you! Sending you big hugs!
It is wonderful to know how your course work is going Cyndi and how peaceful and enlightening it is becoming as you begin to tap into that inner power that has been yours from birth.. and beyond….
It is a wonderful feeling, and it takes us to another level of BEing as we see how often we as humans become embroiled in confusion and get bogged down at times in the trivia..
Breathing takes us to that calmer zone where love exudes and trickles into every corner of our lives..
We even see through the shadows and see their purpose has reason for BEing..
But mostly it it takes us into that mindful place of existence, where all we want to do is share its beauty..
Love and Blessings dear Cynthia.. So enjoying your experiences.. <3
Sue – It is going well. I’m learning to be present as much as possible, focusing on my breathing and the task at hand while going about my day. I have much progress to make, but I have already come a long way. It’s incredible. 🙂 I love what’s happening: the insights, the synchronicities, and even getting in touch with the range of emotions that I experience. I still am me, and I still experience anger, happiness, sadness, and hope. But they are more “alive” to me, more in-depth. Not sure if that makes sense, but it’s pretty wonderful. I only wish that most of the rest of the world was like this. I know in the Far Eastern cultures many more people are awakened to this fact. Our Western society – well, I hope that the majority get to feel this someday – sooner rather than later. Oh what a world it would be! Breathing…chanting…mindfulness. That calm zone where love exudes and trickles into every corner – YES! And all I want to do is share in this bliss, this love…this beauty. Love and blessings to you. Thank you for your words and comments here. You give such light. Sending you hugs! xo
Someday soon, ALL will come to understand the way to move forward is not through material but Spiritual.. Keep on keeping on my friend.. And the insights and everything will blossom. <3
Sue – I sure hope so. There are many paths to understanding, but without taking the steps to cultivate love and compassion, moving forward is difficult. May the lightworkers of the world continue to spread their light. The humans can’t help but see it…hehe. Sending you hugs and blessings from over here to over there. Thank you for your wise words, my friend.