I just can’t stop thinking…
When I tell people that I teach meditation, I find that one of the first comments I get is, “I just can’t stop thinking when I meditate.”
It turns out, this is one of the most common misconceptions about meditation. In this post, I’ll explain a few things about thoughts and meditation and go on to tell you about what I experience as it relates to thinking in meditation.
Thoughts are part of meditation
You’ve probably seen images of those meditation masters who can sit for hours with a slight smile on their faces, perfectly still, as if they haven’t a thought in the world. I’m here to tell you they’re having thoughts. And unless they have reached samadhi (enlightenment, nirvana, or the equivalent), the thoughts just keep coming and coming and coming.
Humans evolved to think. It’s the job of the mind. From the moment you’re born, you’re thinking. You’re exploring the world, analyzing, putting everything together. You’re assimilating language, learning social and cultural cues that will integrate with your personality. You’ll use the mind to understand what it is to love and be loved, to feel pain, to feel happiness, and the array of emotions that characterize the status of the mind. Later, you’ll use the mind to learn to read, to write, and to assimilate, categorize, and make conclusions. You can’t stop this. You won’t stop this from happening.
Taming the “Monkey Mind”
In Far Eastern cultures, they often use the term “monkey mind” to reflect all the thoughts and directions the mind likes to go. With meditation, even though you can’t stop thoughts, you can begin to learn to tame them. When you sit down to meditate – whatever style that may be – beginners will almost always find that their mind seems to “rev up.” This is completely normal. It’s even expected. With a regular practice, however, what starts to happen is that the mind learns to become more of an “observer” of thoughts.
As thoughts arise, you can imagine they’re like clouds in the sky. You can even visualize those thoughts turning into clouds, and then rolling on by until they leave your awareness. Then you re-focus on whatever the focus of your practice is (the breath, a candle, a mandala, a mantra, etc.).
The thing is, teaching the mind to re-focus is the only goal in meditation. It is not to make thoughts go away. In fact, if you resist your thoughts by trying to shoo them away and “not think,” you’ll only end up frustrated. There’s that saying, what you resist, persists.
Let the thoughts come.
Just let the thoughts come. Because come they will. The trick is not to follow the stories the thoughts bring. You will often find that you follow the stories anyways. When you become aware that your mind has drifted onto a thought tangent, just gently refocus. No matter how many times it takes.
Over time, you’ll start to notice that instead of a thought coming into your awareness every second, you might experience a bit of a lull so that you might go a few seconds without a thought. That is a moment of transcendence. As soon as you think, “Ah! I’m not thinking!” you’ve left the transcendent field. Again, refocus on the focus of your practice. And be kind to yourself.
Meditation isn’t a contest. It’s not a race to see who gets to enlightenment. It’s a tool to help with teaching you to be more centered and calm. To be aware and more present. Now, when it comes to the masters, they have learned the “art of refocus” – they have re-focused hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions of times! In doing so, they’ve never stopped their thoughts.
Eventually the thoughts DO get farther apart. They get father and farther apart such that over time they are few and far between. This is samadhi: the absence of thought. But it comes after tens of thousands of hours of practice – if ever! And it shouldn’t even be the goal of meditation. There are more immediate rewards of having a solid practice.
Thoughts actually release stress!
What if I told you that thoughts are actually a good thing in meditation? Thoughts are an indication that you are releasing stress. It’s important to remember, however, that the content of the thoughts do not usually have any bearing on the stress your mind needs to release. If you notice that you have a barrage of thoughts and it seems impossible to let them go, just think: you’re releasing stress. It’s something you’ve needed to do!
Again, be kind and don’t berate yourself for these puffy clouds in your vision. Just let them come. It’s what you need to do at that moment in time. When you realize that you’re thinking, just bring your attention back to your focus. Again and again. Fifty times. One hundred times. A thousand times.
If you stick with it, you’ll start to see monumental changes in your life. I promise. I know. It happened to me.
My experiences with thoughts in meditation
When I first began to meditate, I gravitated toward mantras. I love reciting a mantra as a focus. Yet I know that everyone’s different: some people like focusing on the breath, or doing a body scan, or practicing loving-kindness. Years into my practice, I switched to focusing on the breath. I thought that was harder but it was a welcome challenge. I have since returned to a mantra practice – it just feels powerful to me.
I share that because I started a regular practice in 2008. Before that, I meditated, but not regularly. (And you need a regular practice to really see benefits from it). Through it all, my mind has never stopped thinking. I just got comfortable with all the thoughts. No matter what happened in my life, I pressed on.
I experienced such calming and bliss from meditation that I kept up with my practice and I wasn’t even sure I was “doing it right.” Generally, if you’re sitting to meditate, have a focus, and re-focus when you’re aware that you’re following your thoughts, you’re doing it right. But I kept going. All these years later, I still have thoughts. They come like flocks of seagulls sometimes. Or particularly thick clouds. But, I do have moments where I am aware that the thoughts have stopped. It’s not that often.
It is so awesome when it happens.
It’s like my body and mind go into a stillness that I have never known was possible – and actually still be alive! My breathing will slow way down, sometimes to the point where I won’t even know I haven’t taken a breath for awhile.
A puddle of stillness
What is it like, that stillness? It’s difficult to describe unless you have experienced it yourself. Think of the most still, small, clean and clear puddle of water you’ve seen. There’s a moment where you feel like you can see all the molecules and atoms at once, while looking out from underneath the water up to the sky, while feeling a sensation of warmth and happiness. Add to that the feeling of comfort in knowing that you’re perfectly safe, that you are exactly where you should be, and you could almost touch the center of the universe….
I only ever have those moments once in a great while. I have learned that those experiences are like a little reward for sticking with my practice, but should never be the reason to meditate. As soon as I become aware that I have “entered the stillness,” my thinking brain has kicked in and I’m out of the silence just like that. After thousands of hours of meditation, I still have thoughts and I have LOTS of them. I know that when my mind is particularly active, it’s usually when I’m experiencing more stress in my life, as well.
Thoughts are healthy and GOOD! When you become aware that you’re thinking and not focused on your object (the breath, a mantra, or whatever your focus is), gently return to your focus. You are literally rewiring your brain to focus, no matter what.
I took your survey yesterday and can’t wait to see what the results are soon 🙂 Also as for the thoughts coming, I love that you explain that they are normal. Plus, I think I get what you mean that once you do embrace these thoughts the stress from them will be lessened. That truly does make sense once you put it into perspective. That said, couldn’t appreciate more you explaining this and also for sharing your experiences with this, as well. Hugs and hoping you are having a wonderful Monday and week so far now xoxo <3
Sweet Janine! Thank you so much! I saw your name pop up yesterday and I wanted to thank you. I really appreciate your feedback as it’s going to help me so much moving forward. Thoughts and “not stopping them” is one of the biggest things I hear about folks learning and doing meditation. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideas here around “thoughts” and, remarkably, actually not a bad thing in meditation. 🙂 Sending you big hugs! I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week!
Focusing on my breath works better for me too. I had never heard that thoughts help relieve stress!
Brad – yeah, I love breath awareness and mantras now, equally. Sometimes I’ll do both in a day (though not usually in a single session). And until I went through my training, I didn’t know thoughts were an indication of stress release, either. 😛
Haha. Sending you hugs and wishes for a great week!
Good God, Lil Sis, I can’t stop thinking no matter where or when I am. I’d be a little concerned if I did stop thinking…seems to me that’s a precursor to death, isn’t it? lol
I’m teasing of course. Just a Monday playful mood, I’m afraid, and you get to benefit from it.
Wishing you a terrific week ahead. I hope that oncoming hurricane doesn’t affect you too much.
Hugs from Oly
bill
Haha, Big Bro. You’d better take those thoughts and put them to good use in your next book! Haha. 😛 Thank you for your “thoughts” and yes, they are to my benefit. 🙂
I’m also wishing you a terrific week. The hurricane…well…we’re just outside the “cone of uncertainty.” But we’re getting prepared, just in case. It’s been awhile, but we’ve had them come over us before. It’s already raining like crazy. The very outer part of the hurricane has met up with a “high” air current and we’re getting drenched. It’s going to be an interesting rest-of-the-week. Makes for good reading time, though! Sending you rainy hugs!
“…what you resist, persists‘
The price of admission right there in four words. Thanks!
lol, no, serially!
The biggest hurdle I encounter in my efforts to self-improve myself is usually not what I don’t know, but in dealing with that which I do know. So much of the culture I grew up in is grounded in context of an oppositional reality.*
If something resists me then I must meet it’s strength with a greater force in order to overcome it. Even when it’s a condition that exists naturally, i.e. thinking (aka ‘internal dialogue’.)
(Love the old joke/trick of going up to a person and saying, “I will give you one hundred dollars if you don’t think the word ‘elephant’ right now.”)
Non-resistance can be remarkably difficult to learn! (lol)
I suspect a big part of it is to provide the mind with a reason that it doesn’t have to worry, if it doesn’t ‘try real hard’.
Your presenting it as a ‘practice’ as opposed to a skill makes a huge difference, at least for me. A skill implies doing something correctly or incorrectly, effectively vs ineffectively, with the measure of the effort as ‘a singular act’.
Practice (imo) takes that measure of perfection-in-time away and leaves me able to ‘give it a try’.
Very useful post, yo.
possibly not such a ‘real term’
Clark – haha…the price of admission. Well, my friend, you’ll always have VIP + backstage passes. 🙂 I get the idea of “oppositional reality” – oh yes. Meeting something with brute strength: my own feelings about something, my fears, but even more tangible things. If someone says no, I’m inclined to think, well…how can I subversively circumvent that? And the older I get, the more I just plain think, “yeah, I’m just going to find another way and it WILL be done!” lol
But then when it comes to the idea of non-resistance, my mind just gets blown. Every time. Feeling frustrated? In a mindful way, I am learning to “lean into it” and accept. Feeling angry? Leaning into it and saying, by golly YES I feel that and dang it, I’m going to feel it and feel it until I’m done! lol. But then something magical happens. It starts to dissipate at the point of acceptance.
And the art of practice. Yup. It’s training for a marathon (or something else) with the understanding that the first races are going to be meh, but cool accomplishments. Then later races start to get you in better and higher brackets (ie more benefits from the practice) and more zen-like forward motion.
Thank you for these thoughts. I do always enjoy them. 🙂
*oppositional reality? Nah, it’s a real term in my book.
Love the term Monkey Mind, and your idea of using thoughts like clouds rolling on by..
In the beginning I would often stare into a candle flame to focus my attention.. It’s a great way to take you mind off of mundane thoughts that will always pop in when the mind wanders..
Recently I have used a stepping stone visualisation.. We have flagstone-round stepping stones across and down our lawn.. And during the summer sitting in the garden I would visualise them with closed eyes.. As I stepped on each one I would go deeper and if something distracted me or a mundane thought popped in,, Off I would go to the very first stone until I mastered walking to the end..
I had told my mind prior to meditation that the stepping stones took me to a cliff top. And on the horizon was the ocean with the most beautiful Sun-rise.. And sitting on the edge of the cliff was my guide.. With the breeze blowing back his long white hair….
I would sit quietly by him and absorb the sounds of the waves crashing below.. And if I went deep enough… We would begin our lessons.. 😀
Sometimes it’s good to just allow the thoughts to come… Sometimes it may be a problem that is bugging you that surfaces other times you don’t know why its popped into your consciousness..
But as you say we just need to acknowledge them and re-focus.. And I like how you said release them as if they were stress… Accept them and let them go..
( Sometimes that meant me going back to the first stepping stone ) … But with practice you train yourself to focus.. And when you become more proficient you may find yourself just stepping out and sitting on the edge floating in the sunrise.. 🙂
I don’t think there is ever one right way or wrong way… It’s an individual experience to what works for us..
I loved your puddle image of stillness Cynthia.. And yes its hard to explain unless you leave yourself and exit all your senses for a while..
I have been lucky enough in some meditations to soar high with the eagles as I float and soar on the breeze..
I answered your survey to three questions, I have not been logging into emails as often so may have missed your newsletter on this Cynthia..
Loved this post.. Sorry I am always two weeks behind.. Now to your latest post..
Hugs and love..
Sue <3
Sweet Sue, I always love your approach. Staring at a candle flame, is a certain type of meditation. I learned that it’s the special word called,”trataka,” in my meditation training. And whatever works to settle the mind, is a win. I have been using a mantra that I had never heard of before, until I went to my training. It means,”I am that.” I love it, and I feel like I get really deep into meditation, such that I feel this utter settling more and more lately. It’s such an incredible feeling. It’s such a great way to start the day. I love your mention of the steppingstone visualization. How beautiful and novel, and a fun way to approach meditation. You should see the smile on my face right now, as I’m trying to imagine you doing that. How so very powerful. I can totally see, eventually, some of Shaman appearing to you. Perhaps this has happened already. I just see this man with long hair and a feather in his hair inviting you along the journey. That would be so cool if that had happened. He is a medicine man, with herbs and a medicine bag Full of helpful tools that well help you on your journey. I see the wind gently blowing a string of hair across his face, and his four head is slightly wrinkled. He wears different beads and a vest that is light-colored. I’m not sure why I’m relating all this to you just now, but it is something that just popped into my mind, and I thought I would share. Interestingly enough, this man is wearing jeans, and he also has some moccasins that he’s wearing. And he has a message for you. His voice is only a whisper. But he is telling you something that you need to hear. And yes, you are on the cliff and out behind you is a whole scene of jeweled green grassy knolls. This shaman seems a bit out of place and out of time, just in terms of location, but he is exactly where he is supposed to be. It’s so funny, but that whole scene just immersed in my mind as I was typing this. I don’t want this to influence your own journey in any way but for some reason it just feels like that is some sort of vision or experience on your journey.
The puddle image of stillness wasn’t what I thought of in the moment as I wrote my post to try to explain that stillness you feel when you go so deeply into meditation. It’s almost otherworldly. And truly difficult to explain. It’s a bit like trying to tell a blind person what it’s like to see when they have never been able to see before. And yet, I feel compelled to try if but just to encourage others that it is an incredible journey. I think the Dalai Lama was right: if everyone learned to meditate we’d have peace within one generation. I truly believe that.
And Sue, thank you so much for answering the questions. The purpose of the survey was to help me develop a product, or away of doing things, that is at once helpful to others and still allows me to make a living doing this work – as a lightworker.
And there is no need to ever apologize. I understand your journey and the necessity of finding a balance between being online and cultivating the inner spirit. There will come a day when I am not online nearly as much. For now, I can let myself post and do this work, but every so often I will have to sign off and stay off. So I understand. I wish you a wonderful Friday, and a wonderful, and peaceful weekend. Sending you big hugs.