Happy Holidays vs. Merry Christmas
Happy Holidays is a phrase that, for most people, would be one meant to be inclusive. Originally, I was going to write another post about love for this week, and I suppose this one still is related to that.
I love how living life can inspire a post in 5 seconds…
Picture this: I’m at the post office, inside the lobby, sending off a slew of Christmas cards to friends and family. It’s pouring rain outside, I’m holding an umbrella and papers. My hands are full as I approach the door to head outside.
A gentleman walked up to the door at the front entrance. He wore jeans and a sweatshirt with reflective material suggesting he worked in construction. He had a small note in his hand indicating he was picking up a package. He held the door open for me. In return I said, “Thank you. Happy Holidays!”
I stepped out to hear in a gruff tone, “Merry Christmas!” I could hear the seething offense through his gritted teeth.
5 seconds. That’s all this encounter took
Happy holidays vs. Merry Christmas.
Different Traditions
I once wrote a post on ideas to Create Your Own Spiritual Traditions for the holidays. This is because I personally celebrate a lot of holidays in December. Some with friends, some with family, some with my significant other, and even some on my own.
This is why I say “happy holidays” if I don’t know you. It’s meant to be inclusive. If I don’t know you, I don’t know what you believe, and I actually want to honor that by wishing you joy and happiness in whatever you celebrate.
The case for “Happy Holidays”
There are hundreds of religions and different versions of those religions all over the world. The term “happy holidays” encompasses them all. Even for the fellow atheists.
Look, I’m agnostic and yet very spiritual. I get into the holidays even as I respect the paths and celebrations of others: solstice, Christmas, Hanukkah, Ramadan, las Posadas, Kwanzaa…
I also think about those who have suffered loss. Perhaps it’s painful to be reminded “Merry Christmas,” if you have suffered trauma on Christmas day. Saying those two words can dredge up painful memories for them.
Another argument for saying “happy holidays” is that the US is not a religious state. It’s a country that embodies a mix of cultures and beliefs from all over the globe. The country’s founders made it a point to have separation of church and state. “Happy holidays” respects that separation.
Can we agree not to be offended?
I’d say this for both camps. I’ve met people who take offense at “Happy Holidays,” and those who take offense at “Merry Christmas.”
In this world, there is A LOT that is offensive:
- social injustices
- wage or gender inequality
- wars in other lands
- racial inequality
- the state of the environment
- a ridiculous proposition for a border wall
…just to name a few.
But a simple phrase? That is meant to bestow joy upon another? If you need to make a point to let everyone know about your offendedness when they have actually wished you well, I think that’s a stronger message that speaks to your character.
Cultivating some holiday compassion
What if, when you encounter someone who’s offended at your well wishes (thereby evoking your own sense of offense), you could treat this as a call for compassion?
I would be remiss as a meditation teacher not to include a call for more mindfulness and compassion in talking about dealing with other people.
Now, it’s not always easy cultivating a sense of compassion when your ego is screaming, “Oh, I could really just go and slap the Merry right out of that bloke.”
But that is the perfect time and opportunity to send that person a little love. They obviously need a little more of it in their lives. Perhaps you’d be the proverbial Angel of Christmas Present, lighting up a heart in full-on Dickensian style.
Mindfulness and meditation can really go a long way in helping you develop this skill. You can always practice this skill anytime a negative thought about someone else enters your consciousness. Use that as your cue to send out some love.
Still, there’s another reason to use compassion: you. You’ll feel better about yourself and you will have grown a little.
That difficult person just helped you to become a better person. How’s that for some personal growth?
Kindness reciprocated
If you tell me “Merry Christmas,” I will accept your kindness and I will offer you the same. Merry Christmas to you.
If you tell me “Happy Hanukkah,” I will accept your kindness and I will offer you the same. Happy Hanukkah to you.
If you tell me, “Happy Solstice,” I will accept your kindness and I will offer you the same. Happy Solstice to you.
If you tell me, “Merry Happy ChrHanSolRam,” (see what I did there?) I will offer you the same. Merry Happy ChrHanSolRam to you.
That goes for Feliz Navidad, Feliz Nochebuena, Ramadan, Kwanzaa, New Year, Bodhi Day…
And if I don’t know you, by saying “Happy Holidays,” I am honoring your personal practice by wishing you joy for whatever it is that you do.
Don’t be offended but, Happy Holidays.
Dear Cynthia,
I am a “Merry Christmas” type of girl… That being said, I appreciate people being kind,
compassionate and decent with each other.
Your rationale of the “Happy Holidays” greeting is beautiful, like you. You may be the least
offensive person I know and I love you.
Loved your card and wishing you all the best in this new year of opportunity and hope.
Love,
Maria
Hehe, sweet Mar: Merry Christmas to you! I’m with you: as long as folks are kind and compassionate, then all is great. 🙂 I hope your holidays are merry and bright – you incredible person, you. Hehe. All the best to you, as well for the new year.
A busy day around here, Lil Sis, so I’ll wish you a very Happy Holiday. May love and peace be your constant companions.
Hugs from foggy Olympia…thank you for being the best Lil Sis a man could ask for.
It’s a busy day indeed! I hope you, Bev and the clan have the merriest of Christmases. Peaceful hugs coming to you all from Cacklack. 🙂
Aw, I am a Merry Christmas girl, too. But that said I am not offended by Happy Holidays either. To me, I just love the holidays and the spirit that comes along with this time of the year. That said had to just stop in to wish you a very, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, too!! Hugs <3
Sweet Janine, Merry Christmas to ya! Hehe. Happy Holidays! Merry everything! Hehe. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season!! With all the love and light of family, and cherished time together. I wish you the Merriest of Christmases and I hope you have a wonderful New Year! xox
Ha, Ha, Ho, Ho, a caroling we will go! I love your post and perspective Cynthia and completely agree. I use Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas depending on who I’m connecting with. Much more important than the words is our intention. So I do my best to send out good vibes and good wishes, especially for the holidays.
Merry ChrHanSolRam! 🎅🏼☃️🎄❄️
Hehe, Brad…DID you go caroling!!? Thank you for your thoughts here. I’m so with you: so much importance lies in intention. I intend to continue to work hard for my dreams. It’s not always easy to keep the vision and intentions you set for yourself, but if you persist, the payoff is grand. 🙂
Sending YOU good vibes and good wishes!! Merry ChrHanSolRam. Hehe.
Thank you. No caroling, but some good intentions to plant seeds for the new year.
Brad – hehe. We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Haha…there’s a little carol song for you. And here’s to good intentions for the New Year. 🙂
Thanks for the laugh and sweet cyber carol. Now I’m singing it in my head. 🙂 Happy New Year!
Haha, Brad, keep singin! lol
Offense not taken Cynthia. 🙂 Merry Christmas and many magical days to come!
Hi, sweet Bernice! Hehe. MErRy ChRiSTmaS!!! May you have a wonderful end to your year and a fabulous New Year!! Sending you big hugs and wishes for lots of glad tidings and light.
Oh how I wish the nimrods that are militant about it being Merry Christmas were reading your posts. They haven’t read a history book either to understand how they took the solstice celebration and changed it to suck people into their beliefs. So I’m with you 100%. The reason for the season is to be kind and celebrate that spring is coming again and the days are getting longer. Happy Holidays is more inclusive. My Jewish niece celebrates Christmas with me every year as does her mother. I welcome all and see no boundaries. We celebrate Solstice for my daughter and Christmas because it’s fun and bright. I don’t need a religion to tell me to be kind and loving as well as accepting of all. Don’t you wish you could put this on a billboard? I have Christmas cards that I sent out for several years that said, God created so many kinds of people, why would there be only one way to serve? Something like that anyway. I have a lot of militant Christian family that just can’t get it. My sister is gay and unacceptable to them. Their gay family members are still hiding in the closet out of fear. I welcome everyone. Keep trying to open hearts and minds. Merry everything, Cynthia. HOHOHO. 😉
Marlene, I LOVE your comment. 🙂 Hehe…and by golly, I’m sending those same nimrods HAPPY HOLIDAYS! hahah. Yes…husby and I were just discussing this the other day – the history behind solstice and December 25…and how historians think Jesus was actually born in the spring but they relocated the day on the calendar to appeal to the pagans. Such interesting stuff.
The reason for the season IS to be kind. And that should be enough. 🙂 I’m so glad you have a beautiful Jewish niece who celebrates with you. And solstice! The feeling is mutual: love, kindness, acceptance. I so wish that all folks could just really live and let live. sigh And I’m going to have to use that when someone says Merry Christmas and gets all offended: God made lots of holidays in December, why just mention one of them? hehe.
I understand about the militant Christian family. The message there is: please, just open your heart and be kind. 🙂 I have a gay family member who has not openly come out for the same reasons. I feel for him.
I’ll keep trying to open hearts and minds if you will, friend! I so love the beautiful gifts and wonderful things you do and create! Sending you love and light! 🙂 HOHOHO
One mind at a time, Cynthia. It’s all we can do.
Marlene – hehe, one mind, great minds. Sending you such love and hugs! xo
so, maybe all of the tensions and touchiness occurring in and among people is a manifestation of the change and evolution of people in general, aka cultures and society, after all?
(lol, no! wait! hear me out!)
Almost everyone accepts that change, as in, becoming (older, better, more skilled, richer whatever) involves discomfit (“No pain, no gain!”). Most everyone will, nevertheless happily engage in it, provided they have a personal investment in the process.
Ask anyone at a health club, in a study hall or working alongside a person with skills they wish to acquire, ‘Hey!’ (you might say), ‘that looks pretty uncomfortable, what you’re doing there!’
In all likelihood, they’ll reply, ‘Not really. And, besides, once I’m: thinner/have my degree/get a promotion, it’ll be all worthwhile.’
Not unreasonable.
Maybe when it’s a society/culture/sense-of-self that is going through a change, its easier to lose the perspective that the people in our example above enjoy.
I’m a big fan of newspaper comics and other popular media as mirrors on culture. For whatever reason, these artifacts sometimes persist way longer than you’d think. I often joke about a very popular newspaper comic strip from the 1960s, ‘Andy Capp’. Andy was happily un-employed, smoked constantly, drank to excess and beat his wife (‘Flo’) on a regular basis.
Most people don’t find that so funny anymore. However, if you were to time-travel and grab a laughing newspaper-reader and question his taste in comics, dollars-to-doughnuts* they’d say something to the effect, ‘It’s just a comic. What are you, too good to laugh at a working guy?’
So, maybe, all the tension over holiday greetings is a (re)assuring sign of forward motion in our development as a society?
Merry holidays! (yo ho ho)
As always, your posts are most thought-provoking.
gots to look up that idiom
Clark – ooh, I like it! Change and manifestation of society. THAT. Yup. I think a lot of times, people aren’t always open to forward momentum – change. They want to revert to the familiar, that which is comfortable. It’s human nature. Of course, a personal investment in the process is critical. THEN folks are more open to change. Too many postpone joy. When I get that _____ I will ____. When in reality they can just do whatever it is they need to do.
I had to ask John if he’d heart of Andy Capp. But he said he hadn’t heard of it. But then again, what you said there doesn’t sound funny. eep! lol.
Now if we’re talking donuts…I have all the willpower in the world until someone sets a freshly made glazed donut in front of me. I will eat carrots and cabbage until the seasons change, but all bets are off when someone comes along with a glazed donut. Hehe.
Forward momentum. Growth. Change. I like this perspective. I’ll take a page from Castaneda’s book and…enjoy the journey. 🙂
Thought-provoking…hehe…but isn’t that what clarks do?
I am a Happy Christmas.. Happy Holidays, and its such a shame that Language today is taken in offence.. rather than embracing the message behind the words.. Sad that we have become so politically correct, watching our P’s and Q’s in case some one some where given all the various labels we have to be aware of takes offence.. And that is the problem..
While most of us behave in a civil manner, we are Courteous and polite to each other I am sure most of the time.. There are always those who take language to another level and see offence when none is intended.. And I have to agree with this Mr Peterson’s https://youtu.be/44pERGAaKHw thoughts on this subject of language And when we take it to the extreme its stopping peoples freedom of speech..
Hope you’ve have a wonderful Christmas.. 🙂 Much love your way and best wishes for the New Earth Year.. <3
Sue – hehe, HAPPY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR! What an incredible year. What an incredible friendship I am so blessed to share with you. I will check out Mr. Peterson’s video – anything you recommend is always a winner, I’ve found. I trust your judgment. 🙂
I hope you’re getting a chance to spend some time with your granddaughter. And may this new year usher in more peace, love and understanding – and goodwill toward all. I’m so glad to know you and I can’t wait to see the things that you’ll share – the poems, the love, the light, the gardens…all of it. Sending you big HUGS 🤗🤗🤗
Dearest Cynthia, thank you my friend, I am pondering upon what to post and have been searching my archives and journals… Only as yet to come up blank..
I watched your video this morning you posted about hanging your ‘Intentions on your tree’ again, Loved it.. and gave it the first thumbs up..
This year I am considering trimming my blog, and lots who I follow who have fell by the wayside.. My inbox is heaving with thousands of emails and I follow over 300 blogs, way to many to keep up, some which when looking yesterday no longer have a blog or have posted in ages..
But I may give my main blog a make over ..
And I am going to spend more time painting and creating,
This last few weeks hubby and I have spent our mornings walking in the woods and yes, we enjoy our granddaughter when she comes to sleep over.. She already painted on a canvas I got her proper art equipment for Christmas, which she loved..
I will be back when your new post for today is up..
In the meantime.. Wishing you and your Hubby a most WONDERFUL Happy New Earth Year.. Hold onto your hat, for things are going to seem to be going crazy.. Just hold Love in your hearts ..
Love and Blessing my special friend… So, so wish you were on my doorstep, I would never be away for a cup of herbal.. <3 🙂 <3
Sweet Sue, you know, I’m not worried that the ideas aren’t there just yet. This tells me they’re percolating and when it’s time to see the light, they’ll come, in their own due time. Thanks for watching the video. Since I’ve been making so many for the meditation course, I’m feeling a little more confident at them.
Trimming the blog is a good thing, I think. It’s kind of like decluttering a home. All the guests have left their beautiful imprint, but like mail, it’s sometimes necessary to “go through the cards” and keep what resonates and part with the rest.
Walking in the woods in the mornings…that sounds incredible. Just incredible. I must set an intention to go meditate by trees more this year. I am reading this book about Qi energy and…I’m just blown away at what the inner depths of the mind + energy can do. But it comes down to being in sync with nature.
Your granddaughter (and daughter) sound like to amazing people. They sound like they will walk with the earth and do incredible things…by following your example.
Thank you for coming back for the second post. You are so kind. I wish you a happy new earth year, too! I love that expression. I might have to adopt it. 🙂
Hold love in my heart…I did a tarot reading last evening (just on a free website…I want to teach myself how) and almost every card suggested meditating on love (love and kindness). With you saying that here, well…that’s what I need to do. I asked for a sign from my angels and relations recently about next steps and it’s evident that my evening meditation needs to be this. I’m doing 30 mins of sitting meditation, followed by 30 minutes of chi kung (qi gong) meditation, and rounded up with the 5 Tibetans in the mornings. I haven’t been doing an afternoon meditation as much in the past month due to the course, but even though I’m not quite finished, I’m feeling the need to step away for a bit before school gets back in session.
Ahh…love and blessings to you! I can’t wait to come visit you. Soon, my friend. Soon. The universe is conspiring to make it happen. 🙂
Sending you love and hugs and all things bright. xoxo