Revelations in Silence
Sometimes when you take a little time out, and a little time to reflect, you get big revelations in silence.
If you are on my email list, then you will have received emails from me in the past week about my experience with going about life in silence. My husband was out of town, which gave me a bit of space to work in silence, commute in silence, do dishes in silence, not watch the news at all, and generally just conduct my life much more mindfully than otherwise.
If you have never done this, you can still live at your normal life, but you take out a huge portion of noise. I recommend it for every single person on this planet.
The following words are the revelations in silence I had…just this week!
You get insights
The thing about inviting more silence into your life is that the sounds that normally crowd your brain and silence your intuition suddenly stop. You’re left with the sound of your beating heart, your normal thoughts uninterrupted in your head, and just the essence of you.
This makes room for you to solve problems more quickly, get intuitive answers, and I feel a lot more calm, in general.
I, for one, noticed the content of my thoughts a lot more. Sure, I’ve meditated a long time. Even still, I don’t always categorize my thoughts and know what they are.
I noticed that I thought intensely about my meditation business this week. I thought about sending love to friends and family. I thought about work at my day job. I thought about how I appreciated my husband. He had been gone on a ski trip, and absence sure does make the heart grow fonder.
Nix the coach
You may know that I have been working with a coach the past few months to “properly” launch my meditation business and course. A few things happened on Friday that can help me to rethink my relationship with my coach.
Don’t get me wrong, she has been instrumental in helping me figure out how to niche-down here on my website, understand what you all might want out of it, and help me create a course that I am proud of. I would never have done any of this without her help.
But in my week of silence, I realized that what she was asking me to do was become more of a salesperson, rather than a teacher. Under certain circumstances this is not a bad thing. But for me, my personality, and my need to teach meditation to anyone that would ask, this runs counter to my values.
I realized that while she had me create a high-end course, I was never really wanting to work with a high-end crowd – at least exclusively. It’s just not in my DNA. I am on this planet to teach, not sell.
On Saturday, I did a self-prescribed tech retreat. I spent very little time with my phone, and computer. I went and had coffee with a friend. I went to the library. I spent the afternoon reading. And I a second hour of meditation in the afternoon.
Doing a little restructuring
It was in that second hour that I realized that I wanted to restructure things a bit, in terms of teaching meditation. The idea of the course, at least for me, was to enable people that wanted to work with me, but due to location or time, could not. The course was meant to be an option if we weren’t able to meet face-to-face.
I also wanted to get out to the community, desperately. I don’t mind offering donation-based classes. I’ve even thought about working with prison populations. Or homeless populations.
My coach also had me emailing my list more often. You’ve probably noticed if you were on my email list. I didn’t feel good about that, either.
Meditation Is Sacred
Meditation, to me, is a sacred practice. I cannot, in good conscience, teach it such that others are locked out.
That is not what the teacher does. A teacher invites students to be a part of their teaching. Sure, there is an energetic exchange that must take place. That’s why I won’t do classes for free, but I’ll still ask for something in return so that there is an exchange of energy. This exchange is vital for the growth of both parties.
This approach might mean that I’m always “small potatoes” – and that’s completely fine with me. My email list isn’t very big. But every person on there is someone that I see. That I interact with. That I will respond to, should they email me.
This is about answering my calling. About sacred practice. About inviting others to experience the calmness and healing that comes with a disciplined meditation practice.
And so, I will tell my coach, that “her way” is not my way. My course will be a fraction of what she asked me to charge, and I will email my list when I know it is purely beneficial for the people who open those emails.
The tech retreat
It was during my week of silence that I decided to do a mini-retreat on Saturday. I am trying to do this once a month. Essentially I don’t get on the computer and I go “deep within” for 24 hours.
To be sure, I hope to do longer retreats this year (that someone else leads), but just that break yesterday was so powerful.
I was able to intuit information about my business. There were even almost unrelated insights that I gained. With my husband being gone, I can see why there are people out there who feel lonely when they do not have a partner in life.
To be sure, I am not lonely. But the insights that I gained from a week of silence gave me a peek into what others might feel like when they do not have companionship. To be sure, my practice, and my own sense of self-worth have always allowed me to stand firm in my own space without the need to rely on anyone else to feel complete.
[bctt tweet=”I am complete. I always was, and always will be.” username=”n2itvnspiritual”] ⬆️ Tweet that if you agree, because it applies to everyone.
Having a beautiful partner in life is an incredible bonus to this feeling of completeness.
The podcast
Since completing my meditation training late last year, I have been wanting to start a podcast.
With the 30 or so of you that I spoke to late last year, almost all of you indicated that you wanted me to do a podcast.
Building the course has kept me busy. But now I am seriously entertaining this idea. After my tech retreat, I felt the need rising and rising to get this started sooner rather than later.
Part of why I haven’t started a podcast just yet, is that I’m not sure what the content should be. Maybe you can help me.
I’ve thought about doing a straight up meditation podcast of guided meditations. But, a lot of people like to listen to podcasts while they’re commuting in their cars. I don’t ever recommend meditating while driving, for the record.
That said, I thought about talking about the same content that I usually talk about in a blog post, but in a podcast. I’ve even thought about interviewing people in the meditation sphere. That it could include secular as well as nonsecular leaders who would then share their insights.
This is where you come in. I have a quick poll to see what you might like to hear in a podcast.
[poll id=”4″]
Now the fun begins!
All these insights, these notions of teaching meditation, tech retreats, working with coaches, podcasts – all these things – came from a week of silence. Do you see why I recommend it for you?
You nailed why I try more often than not to take the weekends off of blogging and being online as much as I can. Justreally does wonders at refreshing me for the week. That said, I loved hearing about your revelations in silence here today. Also, I voted and hope it helps you with upcoming projects. Happy Monday and hugs now, my friend xoxo <3
Sweet Janine – yes…the past couple of weeks, I’ve done lighter work (and had things coming up) and so it’s been nice to not be online as much. I love what I do, but…I’m just thinking it’s also nice to take a step back from screens and technology all the time. Hehe. Thank you for the votes, too! Sending you big hugs and wishes for a great day!
Kudos for listening to your inner teacher and following what is right for you. I was noticing the increase in marketing and not liking it. But to be honest, I doubt I’m your target and not really looking for courses or info on meditation. I actually preferred your site when it was less about meditation. And I honor that you’re doing what is right for you. You clearly have a passion for meditation, teaching, and helping people. I know you will make a difference. Go Cynthia! OoooMmmm….
Brad – thank you for your thoughts and perspective. Alas, when I started working with my coach, she had a whole model she wanted me to follow. It wasn’t until I got into later modules did I really understand and realize what she was asking. And well…it wasn’t easy to tell her that it wasn’t working, but I felt a lot better for it. Moving forward, I’m still thinking about what that looks like and…I have all the time I need and want to figure it out. (Well at least as long as I walk on the planet, lol). As for the “meditative content” – ah yes. Well…the original intention when I started this site was to use it as a hub for teaching meditation. But, I couldn’t do that until I got my credentials. Most of the content will be about meditation now. Perhaps I’ll still interject some poems and fun things, too, to shake things up. I do miss it and my creative muse is telling me I need to get painting. Hehe. As for teaching and helping…yes. I know that whatever that looks like, I’m meant to do THAT. lol. Have a great weekend!
Kudos on your clarity and dedication to your path.
Thanks, Brad. And kudos to you for honoring your path, as well. 🙂
As always, Lil Sis, I loved the message. Silence is, literally, crucial for my sanity. I do not like too much noise. I can’t stand crowds. I don’t do crowded auditoriums. I embrace silence and it fuels my creative side. Each and every day I go out to the farm, do my chores, and then find a place to sit and just soak up the quiet stillness of the country. I leave that environment refreshed and as close to sane as I am likely to be. It is no exaggeration for this boy to say my sanity depends on quality quiet time.
So I get it!
Hugs from chilly Olympia
Your constant admirer and friend
Big Bro – thank you for your thoughts. Working out at the farm, interacting with the chickens, quail and animals, I can imagine that you also get a reprieve from screens and city noise. I love that. 🙂 I’m not big on crowds, either. In fact, I’m attending a TEDx event later today and…my first inclination is to stay home. I know I’ll enjoy it, but…about 80% of me would love to stay home. I got tickets for free on behalf of my Toastmasters club, so I feel obligated to go. As for your level of sanity and “chill-ness” I can vouch for that. Not much seems to ruffle your feathers, and that’s a good place to be. 🙂 Sending you hugs from across The Great Divide.
It must have taken courage to tell your coach that you didn’t support “her way” with every single thing. And I love you even more for standing your ground with what felt right as I know in the past I wish I had listened to my intuition more. But please don’t be too hard on yourself for anything that you try that doesn’t work as you launch the meditation class. It’s absolutely normal to try, fail, re-try, fail etc until one day it works and then it’s one heck of a meditation with a class! I hope you’ll update us on your learning experience week after week xo
Christy – haha, well, you’re right on that. It did take some courage, but I also knew this is what I had to do. I am still figuring out what this all looks like as I proceed, but rest assured, it is in tandem with my values as a teacher. Perhaps we’ll have a membership site here so people can easily access the course. Perhaps I’ll just have a flat, affordable fee for the course. Not sure…I just know that already I feel a lot better about what I’m doing and the direction I’m headed in. 🙂 Indeed, it’s all in the “trying” – the persistence of vision and staying true to what motivates us. And I hope to continue honing my skills and getting better and better. 🙂
Certain friends of mine in the ‘real’ world maintain that the best way to marketing is based on ‘attraction rather than promotion’.
Not for nothin, most good sales people will tell you the best source of business is by referral from satisfied customers. That is truly bullet-proof marketing.
But then again, this only supports the observations that sales (and marketing) are almost exactly like religion.
(lol… hey! thank you for this post, if for no other reason than it put me in the position to remember some of the fun of starting the Doctrine blog… I love to throw something out like that.)
But seriously.
Knowing you as well as I believe I do, you are naturally drawn to the ‘attraction’ model of marketing.
Fortunately, imo, you have the skills and the tools to make certain you and your program are as visible as you want it to be, at any given time.
Focus on the clients and there will be no shortage of customers (hoping to become clients).
Clark – I love your description here. “Attraction vs. promotion.” I’m definitely a subscriber to the former. I have never been one to “wear stuff on my sleeve,” regardless of the cause (sales, religion, philosophy, insert-whatever-point-of-view-you-have). As a kid, I would get neighbors to donate for Jump Rope for Heart, but I dragged my cousin with me door to door and always had a need to have a conversation with people. From there, if they donated, fine and if not, fine. It never mattered to me how much I raised, but that I tried, made connections with people, and the funds were always secondary or even tertiary. And so it is as an adult. If folks resonate, then I’m happy. If they don’t, I’m happy they figured that out so they can get to what makes them happy, quicker. And you know a thing or two about marketing, being in real estate.
Skills and tools – thank you for the vote of confidence. In time, I know that what I create here and IRL will be a reflection of my values and of what intuitively feels good, such that I know it will help others. I will heartily take your words of wisdom…to heart. <3 🙂
When we are not commercially minded Cynthia i can fully understand your thinking and views on the sales pitch side of things.. I wrote you an answer to this particular part of your post as an answer on my last post you commented on, as you spoke there of your discomfort on how you felt.
I voted ‘ All the above’ on your poll Cynthia, because I think limiting your podcast would restrict the Huge range we can speak of which encompasses Meditation and our Spiritual Journey, so why limit it.. I enjoy listening to various views, and after all this is a ‘journey’ one that allows us to grow and expand..
I can feel your enthusiasm and when we know within something feels right we go with the flow of it.. By the same reasoning when it goes against the grain we should also follow our instincts..
But also remember as I said in my lengthy comment on my last post in reply to you,, We live here, in a material world in which we came to experience.. And our time too is worthy.. It is all about balance and what we feel comfortable with.. Only you can determine that..
But as I said to you also, think on the venues you have gone to, the retreats etc and what you have not begrudged paying for being taught!..
Sending loads of love my friend.. I hope your hubby had a wonderful ski-trip. and that you enjoyed your TEDx venue my friend..
Lots of Love and well wishes Cynthia..
💚💜💙
Sweet Sue, indeed. On the one hand, I consciously know that I need to have an energetic exchange for my teaching and for someone to receive it. But there is something about charging high-dollar for a course, and my heart was screaming quite loudly that I’d better not do it. I’m still figuring out what all that looks like. But I’m getting closer, and it’s settling my heart. I am smiling at your words of wisdom, however.
I’m also smiling at you voting on “all the above.” Oh friend, sometimes I so wish I could reach through the screen and just give you the biggest hug. Yours is such a bright light. I think I’m getting closer to the idea of the podcast, as well. As you have voted, I think I have figured out a way to not only include content, but also meditation. This will be my next big project.
Regarding the part about living in a material world (aside from the funny Madonna reference), I get it. Our time really is worth a lot. There’s only this moment. And when it’s gone there is only this moment. Those moments added up equate to a life. But we never know when the moments will stop. That said, moving forward, I know that what my model looks like here is something between giving back because I have been so blessed in my life, and striving to reach more people as a direct result of them paying me to do so. I have been meditating on this so much, as well as consulting my “spritual council” for some answers, too. I have already discerned something that my heart knows it will be happy with. A little more research will allow me to facilitate what I am imagining. And you are right. I have paid for my coaching, I have paid for my meditation teaching certification, and now I should be willing to receive. To complete the cycle, as it were. I promise I will do this because I want to give to the world, and in order to give I must also receive.
And thank you so much for your well wishes. Husby gets home in a couple days. It will have been just over two weeks. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, yes. But I also utilized the time to really discern and meditate. Imagine me reaching to the screen and giving you big hugs. Have a wonderful week.🤗🤗🤗
Dear Cynthia,
I read this a few days ago and had every good intention of commenting at that time … 😉
It’s both ironic and beautiful that silence has helped you find your voice.
I have also voted on “all of the above”. It is exciting to watch you grow and develop your passion.
Love and big hugs of admiration, Maria
Mar, ah, the sound of silence. I am finding that if we give silence some space, it really can be the loudest thing of all. But it is it’s own loudness that allows us to discern the answers, and to find peace.
Or at least that’s my bit of silent wisdom for the week, anyways. Haha.
Thank you for voting about the podcast. It’s really fun to think about. And it is my next project. Well, at least once I get my course and membership sorted out. But that is forthcoming. And I’m not worried.
Sending you the biggest hugs, ever. I wish you an incredible week!
I have a hard time reading longer posts and this one has to be enlarged a great deal for me to see it. I do a lot of meditating in different ways. I have a great deal of quiet time. It’s not traditional meditation but it does work. Lonely is something I know lots about. I was married twice and more lonely than I have ever been living alone. I’m able to fill my life with people who enjoy my company now versus someone who needs to control and use me for their own agenda.That’s a loneliness I never want to repeat. My daughter lives with me but she is like me, requires a lot of quiet and alone time. Non intrusive and just enough company without an agenda. It’s so refreshing. I meet with other single and married women regularly to keep my hands and mind busy and my social life just full enough. Can’t handle too much or too many. Quiet and nature are a must and spring is just around the corner so my more serious garden meditation will begin. I’m wishing you great success with this.
Marlene – Thank you so much for your insightful comment. As for reading longer posts, I totally understand. Part of why I do have some longer posts is to appease Google. But sometimes words just flow onto the screen. I try to use headers for easy scanning, but I totally understand if you just want to read a relevant section and comment on that. Sometimes that’s what I have to do when it comes to reading others’ materials as well – our time is limited and we can only do so much. 🙂 Your thoughts about loneliness are spot-on. We can be surrounded by LOTS of people and still experience that hollow feeling of being alone. But BEING alone, for me, is not a lonely feeling. It is when I feel that my truest self can come alive. My personality also demands alone time, as does my husband’s. We both understand that we each need our space. It works. 🙂 It sounds like you and your daughter have a mutual understanding of needing time and space. This is good! And meeting with friends and family to “stay civilized” as I call it, hehe, is something I need, but not before I’ve had plenty of down time. I’m so glad for spring, and I love that you call this a meditation. When I was at a meditation retreat a couple years ago, I chose gardening as my mindful chore and thoroughly enjoyed it. (And well…it was better than doing the dishes or cleaning the bathrooms. I’m not a huge fan of doing others’ dishes…I’ve always gotten the heeby jeebies at the idea of “bacteria from others”. Hehe. I’m working on all that mindfully, too.) I hope you’ve had a great week! I’m a little later than usual getting back to all these awesome comments here. It’s been a busy week as I worked at the school five days this past week instead of the usual three days. Always finding the balance, yes? Haha. Sending you big hugs!