An evolving journey, this life
I’ve been writing meditations and doing lots of meditation-related posts the past few months. And truth be told, it has helped to niche my site a bit. I was feeling the effects of having put so much energy into building a course this last winter, scheduling my haikus and posts on social media, coupled with the desire to teach meditation, I knew I needed a little break.
These last couple of weeks have been just that. If you are on my email list (you can always sign up below), then you got an email the first week, talking about a way to take my meditation course for free, and how I was going to take the next week off.
Last week was my birthday week. I’ve entered a new decade and with it came the quintessential thoughts of evaluating my life so far, the difference I want to make, and to make sure to live life to the fullest. I decided – with the gentle nudging of my husby – to spend five days at the beach. It was glorious.
Here’s the video version in case you want to listen instead of reading. It’s slightly different than the text here.
Technology at the beach
I knew that my beach trip would entail a lot of “being” and not “doing.” I brought some stuff to draw with, and even a book. If I read or drew something, great. But I didn’t really care if I didn’t. I brought my little Zoom microphone to record the ocean waves. I never took it out of my backpack before returning home to the mountains. I just let myself do whatever came to me in the moment.
The tech-fast
I tech-fasted (I think that’s going to become a word, y’all…kind of like “break-fast” did). I brought my computer for emergencies – such as if the websites I monitor went down, or if other websites I’ve built for clients had any issues. My computer came in handy for another reason: my phone was charging in the car and overheated. It resulted in the lower part of the screen not functioning. (Life lesson #29,767: Don’t charge your phone in the heat of the day in your car. You might damage it, even if it’s not in the sunlight.) I was able to use my computer to text, email and general communications.
Disconnecting
Rather than focus on the frustration and the expense of replacing my phone, or the fact that I couldn’t really use it, I chose to see it as an opportunity: an opportunity to disconnect. I called my family on my birthday using my husband’s phone. I headed to the ranger station two different times over the five days to respond to text messages and emails, but otherwise didn’t have much screen time. It was good not having reliable internet because it forced me off my screens. I occasionally brought out my Kindle to read more of “Becoming Supernatural” by Joe Dispenza, but since I’m on the second read-through, I didn’t get it out that much.
Time away from technology does wonders for the soul. I always gain insights on these trips. When I cannot use my phone or computer as usual and I’m gently forced to abandon my normal routine, good things happen. This post, pretty much, is a result of those insights.
“Time away from technology does wonders for the soul. You gain insights and in the silence, you often find the answers.” – Cynthia Sageleaf
Just “being” on this evolving journey
I napped, listened to the birds, spent time riding my bike, walked along the beach, and enjoyed the present moment.
I remember smiling giddily as I rode my bike along the boardwalk, just feeling gratitude for the wind on my face, the opportunity to take time off work to camp and “be”, for the warm sun, for the little lizards that would scamper as I approached, for yummy grilled camp food – for so much!
We met because of patchouli
I biked one morning to the beach. I met a woman named Sally who worked the fees station. Since I was camping, I pulled up to the window on my bike and told her what I was up to – I didn’t have any ID or camp information with me. She wasn’t concerned and immediately smelled my patchouli essential oil that I’d applied earlier. She remarked how everything on the island had to be ordered and it took forever for the mail to get there. (Note to self: if I ever want to exist in “another time that goes by more slowly,” the beach – where there’s hardly any internet or cell service – is one way to do that.) She closed her eyes and smiled as she took in the dual scents of my lavender and patchouli – which I wear every day.
I was so touched by her love for the scent of patchouli that I decided to bring her my little bottle of essential oil later that day. I hadn’t used it that much but I felt moved to gift it to her. I stopped at the gate and took out my small container of the prized oil. I had no idea who she was, but in that moment, she stopped everything to give me a hug and express her appreciation for this unexpected gift. She dabbed a drop behind each ear and then fanned herself to waft the scent all around the little fee station.
I share this story because it brings a smile to my face even now as I tell it. Just a little act of kindness goes such a long way. Not only that, had I adhered to some “schedule,” I wouldn’t have had the time to bike back out to the beach to make a new friend. In the moment, it just felt right to do that.
Poetic missives
As I re-energized in nature, I pondered the direction of my meditation teaching, my website, and all the things I do outside of my regular “work.” Last year, I completed my meditation teacher training with the intent to teach.
Funny how life works. It is an evolving journey.
I have started MeetUp Groups, built a meditation course as you know, and I’m trying to teach in my community. I’d sort of always envisioned that I’d do all this stuff mostly online, however. I tend to love being behind a screen (which is why I build and maintain websites in my other life, along with other digital marketing).
But it’s funny how life works. It is an ever-evolving journey.
After months of trying to “sell” my course, and create classes, I have met all this with not-so-much success. I’m taking it as a sign to change direction slightly. Oh, I’ll still continue to teach in the community. But there’s more to this story. You ready?
Wanting to spread love and light
When I got certified to teach, I envisioned creating retreats and inspiring people to find the light within themselves. As part of that, I thought I’d help folks out in the community: teach meditation in prisons, or to those folks who desperately needed it. In effect, until I had a business coach urging me to create an online course, I never really thought about creating one.
Now that I have, the course will always be there. I’ve had a number of folks go through it – for free. I’m not so good at charging for it. At least not yet. I’ve come to realize that do not feel good when I try to sell. I just don’t. I enjoy teaching. And whatever happens from that, I know the universe will take care of me.
I will continue to add classes in my community. Life seems to be steering me in that direction.
I have longed to do more artwork and create more books – coloring books, meditations, all those things.
And so, while I will teach in my community – I have a couple classes coming up at a local yoga center, as well as more that I’m creating with my MeetUp group – I want to do more with my mandalas – both for meditation and as artwork, in general. In addition, I want to do more with all the haikus I write.
A new routine, perhaps?
Because everything’s evolving, I will continue to create guided meditations, and write about meditation. But I will also probably create posts on mandalas and create more free stuff, in addition to creating an I & S Zazzle store, or perhaps just post completed mandalas for sale here.
I also find myself missing places like HubPages and Medium where I used to write all the time. My heart is calling me back to these.
Plus, there’s my own evolving journey with meditation
My own meditation is also an evolving journey. I am constantly trying new meditations, chakra meditations, and investigating more about heart-coherence. I honestly want to see how far I can get with it. I continue to meditate an hour minimum each day, sometimes up to two hours.
I wanted to share some of the insights from my beach journey, and some of my thoughts about where I feel I am going. I love this journey. Thank you for being on it with me.
Aw, so glad you got away and we’re also able to take off from technology for a bit sounded. Sounded like an awesome trip and experience. Happy belated Birthday, as well! Hugs and here is to a great week ahead now xoxo <3
Janine – getting that time away was great. I hope you have a wonderful week and I read that you’re going back to Disney soon! Yowza, you are a Disney queen! Hehe. Thank you for the birthday wishes. Sending you lots of hugs and smiles. xo
Constantly evolving, Lil Sis, that’s you in a nutshell. Truth be told, people who don’t attempt to grow and evolve, or at not open to the concept, make me a bit nervous. I love reflecting. Truth be told I’ve been reflecting most of my life. I am a teacher but not a salesman. I am a writer but not a marketer. And I’m fine with all that. I will continue to write, and for those who choose to read my words, I say welcome. For those who don’t, I say have a good life. It’s all good to me.
Sending hugs your way, my enlightened sibling!
Big Bro – hehe, yes. I could say the same about you: always evolving. I also wonder about those who choose not to grow and evolve. I feel badly because life has so much to offer if you let it. I’m always reflecting and pondering. I’m with you on all your points: I, too, am a teacher and not a salesperson. I am a writer and not a marketer. I am an artist and wouldn’t ever want to own a gallery. It’s funny that I work as a digital marketer for a school but the work is fulfilling: I get to talk about a school that incorporates mindfulness – something I can get behind, so that works. But marketing my stuff? Pfft. Can I just share more haikus to make you want to meditate? 😂 And really, if it resonates, GREAT! I’ve done my good deed. If not, well, I wish you well on your journey and may you find what you’re looking for. lol.
Sending you big hugs, and thank you – always – for your insightful comments. 🙂
Have a great week!
The beach, imo, is the most perfect place for a “getaway” 🙂
I opted for the audio version of your time away. Wonderful. Your peace and contentment and energy comes through so effortlessly. You are very special, my friend.
May this new decade be even more enlightening for you than the last 🙂
I agree. Life is an evolving journey.
Denise – hehe, it was pretty awesome! I let myself “just sit there” half the time, staring at the clouds, staring at the ocean, staring at the campfire, or staring into space. It was glorious! Haha.
As for the video – it means so much to me that you said this. I try to be peaceful and blissful. I try to choose happiness even though life can get ugly sometimes. I know this decade will be the best one, yet! 🙂
Life IS an evolving journey.
Sending you big hugs and gratitude for being able to know you and be your friend. xo
Loved that story of your gifting and paying it forward with your essential oil Cynthia..
And it does bring that smile to our inner hearts, when we bring joy to another.
You have been all systems go and full steam ahead now for quite a while Cynthia, so I am sure you will have felt the benefit of taking a break.. I know I take breaks with regularity 🙂 But I was once just as you, never a minute each evening filled with some spiritual work or other lol.. So I know how it evolves.. lol..
Remember your inner journey is the most important .. I look forward to your insights with your own meditation..
Sending SO much love my friend..
Hope your week is going well..
Love and Blessings your way Cynthia.. <3
Sweet Sue! First, I want to say that I owe you some responses back on your own site. Hehe. Life has been filled with things going on of late. But I’ll get back there. 😍 I enjoyed writing that little story, hehe. I smile thinking about it – AND I had just ordered a new little bottle of patchouli essential oil and totally thought of my new friend Sally when I opened it.
I have been “all systems” go. You’re right. You read me like you know yourself: “never a minute each evening filled with some spiritual work or other” – oh lawd, this is me. All the books I read, the music I listen to, even the shows I watch have some spiritual (or scientific) component to them. But the inner journey IS most important. And I have to tell you….
First, I know I’m fascinated with learning and looking “externally” for finding information. But…lately, my own heart has been saying, “stop looking at books for awhile. Stop looking for answers online to all your questions. Just go within. Learn to trust yourself.” I mean this in reference to learning more about the spiritual journey, to learning more about how I should be blogging, WHAT I should be blogging, better marketing, you name it. I have been pushing to market my meditation classes and I’ve had a heck of a time getting people to come. (Oh I hope I can type everything here before I need to get ready for work this morning, hehe). In any case, when I was at the beach, it suddenly hit me to not do that anymore. I even think I’m going to dismantle my course and create blog posts from it. (There’s something like 40 of them that I can do!) I don’t want to “sell” meditation. I can’t. I now know I need to let it happen organically.
But I have thought, also, of all the things you have shared: doing readings, cultivating intuition, the third eye – all of it. And my heart is suddenly telling me that I need to meditate more in the mornings – going from one to two hours. It seems a little daunting because there are days where I feel squirmy with my regular hour but I know – FEEL – that if I don’t, I won’t “settle into myself” until I do. I won’t go deeper with my journey and truly open my chakras and I do want to experience kundalini.
I dunno…it’s the same here on my blog. I wonder if all the work I do for it is worth it. And then I think of all the people I’ve met, this long and beautiful journey of creating art, sharing stories and meditations and I instantly know it’s all right to continue. In fact, once I realized that I just don’t want to “sell” meditation, my mandalas have been calling to me. I don’t yet know what that looks like but the need to be creative is very real right now. I met an artist last summer (at the meditation institute no less) who saw the mandala I’d made for my teacher. She said to me, “I know you like to write, but there is creative energy within you and you need to honor that. There will be a season for your writing, but your mandalas and artwork are asking to be seen.” It gave me goosebumps to hear her say that and I kept it in my heart, but so far I haven’t done a whole lot about it. Then I was in a meeting the other day and it was the same. I had to answer, “what is my genius zone” – a question I’ve struggled with for a long time. And this time, without hesitation, I wrote “artistic/creative talent with artwork + writing.” The writing part is what I will continue to do here. But the artistic part is saying, “hello! Let your spirit shine through creativity!” Haha.
I have another trip coming up – one where I will go see my parents – but we’re also making sure to go visit more sacred places. We’re going to the Four Corners area of the US: the Navajo reservation – to Monument Valley, Hovenweep, Canyon de Chelly (if time), Chaco Canyon, Canyons of the Ancients…and I’m setting the intention to have spiritual experiences. 🙂 We leave 6/9 and will return 6/23. 🙂 I’ll still blog and write, but I’m taking my drawing notebook with me, hehe. As well as my new journal I purchased on my beach trip.
I wanted to share this with you because, let’s face it, you mean so much to me with your wisdom and generosity of heart. Almost since the day I met you on your blog, I considered you a mentor. I think I always will. You are just so incredible, dear friend. I cannot, CANNOT wait to meet you one day – soon! Sending you much love and hugs! 🤗
Firstly listen to your heart, for its telling you exactly what is needed. And going within ourselves is what is important. Finding your own sanctuary of peace within your own meditations.
I love your mandala’s Cynthia, and I remember when you told me of that lady speaking to you that you should develop your art further.
I think I may or maybe then told you or maybe not, but if I didn’t tell you then, I feel inclined to tell you now , that as you are wishing to open your third eye and your spiritual awareness even further why not develop your intuitive art into some kind of reading tool..
Give it a try with a friend or maybe a friends friend whom you do not know too well who will give you feed back..
I used to do aura-graphs as you may well have seen in my artwork and hobbies section, I explained on my blog how I set about this. https://suedreamwalker.wordpress.com/2011/01/13/watercolour-paintingauragraphs/
Now I went to town on mine, spending many hours, but I taught my development class how to link in doing quick sketches and then sitting and reading it for a sitter by intuitively saying what one felt and saw which they had drawn..
Some drew animals, other drew shapes.. And used various colours, Each colour to me has a meaning and that too would be all part of the reading.
Just a thought, if you were wanting to expand this way using your Mandala’s not just as an artform, but as a spiritual reading for a client..
I know you have this ability within you Cynthia, you just need to trust yourself to allow it to blossom.
Sending MUCH love your way, Enjoy your weekend my friend.. And YES ONE DAY I know we shall meet, and that day will make me so happy… 💜🌈💙
Sue – I’ll write more and I need to visit your blog, too, but…oh my gosh. What you say here just blows me away…I so want to try this. And you have given me some ideas. 🙂
You know you can do this.. start to experiment on a small scale.. and you will also be blown away by the results <3
I’m going to re-read that post and the link you sent me. I want to start doing this within the next couple of weeks. I’ll do what you say here. 💜 And I’ll let you know how it goes. Ooh, quick question. I’ve always wanted to try Tarot. Do you do any of that? I have found several good books (still need to buy them). Oh this journey…it’s an incredible one.
Dear Cynthia,
Happy to be able to leave a comment here. The computer teaches me to be patient… as if we have a choice – LOL?!
Of the many things I love and respect about you, “listening to your heart and going with her flow” is at the top of the list.
Love you and hope your sacred journeys are filling your mind, body and spirit with beautiful memories. Hugs, Maria
Mar – hehe, I’m so glad you were able to leave a comment. I find that the system sometimes glitches when WordPress sends out updates. I am grateful it doesn’t happen more often – I can imagine the amount of coding and all that goes into all this updating of software. Whew.
In any case, you’re right: technology, computers – it teaches us patience for sure.
Listening to my heart and going with the flow are two things I strive to do. It makes me “laid back” in probably an unusual way, but I try to embrace it fully. Hehe.
Thank you for your sweet words. I am with my parents now, but upon my return, I can’t wait to write about these journeys. In the meantime, a scheduled post is coming up that you helped inspire! 🙂
Sending you big hugs! xo
To answer your reply Cynthia about Tarot, Yes I have used them and did try my hand at reading them, but not in the conventional way not always by the book of what each card represented.. I linked into my own intuition again and the image on the card plus what I just felt.. But I never felt I mastered this skill as I didn’t spend all that much time perfecting it.. I dare say if I had, I would have gained more confidence with it..
Instead I keep tarot and have lots and lots of Angel Deck cards too along with a beautiful deck my daughter bought me for my birthday only recently a deck which is Angel and Ancestor cards by Kyle Gray a link for you here.. https://www.kylegray.co.uk/angels-and-ancestors.. These are beautiful cards wonderful artwork and I have used them to give myself readings.. Which showed me I am in alignment..
I have around 8 different card decks, but I found this particular deck has felt right… If you follow the link it shows the amazing artwork on them..
The other deck which was my first deck was the Thoth Deck by Aleister Crowley, When you look into his controversial personality, Tarot to many is taboo, 🙂 and those who use them are just too ‘wicked’ lol we should be hunted down and punished lol.. 🙂 according to some… 🙂
I once made friends with a lady gypsy whom I would give the clothes my children had grown out of when she would call around selling her pieces of heather, every few months when they were in the area..
She would read palms and told me in detail where we would move to, what the house would look like and what professions my Son and daughter would have.. She could also read the future in an ordinary deck of cards..
Sending much love Cynthia, have a beautiful day and I will leave on another of your posts a link about 5G and you may find that channel as interesting as what Zingdad had to say.. I won’t leave them in one comment as It may send me into spam.. lol
Take care and enjoy your Day <3
Oh, Sue, you know I would so do the same thing is you. I would so not be conventional in how I approach doing readings of any kind. I have thought about card decks, as well. Last year when I was at the meditation Institute, I met this brilliant artist who is using card decks. She set an intention that the card that we were supposed to find would speak to us in the way that we intuitively would know what it meant. I remember thinking how cool it was, because her artwork was on the other side of them. And so I wondered about doing that, or tarot, but really I just love the idea of getting used to doing to the readings. I might have to start calling myself MiniSue for all the things that I think about doing, you have done and you have explored and gained so much insight into it. I am always impressed. There are so many times I wish we lived closer so that I could just call you and say let’s go out for tea and have a good discussion this afternoon. Then again, we’d probably never get anything done. Hehe.
This weekend, I would like to take some time to investigate all of this further. I’ll look at the card decks you mentioned here, and perhaps purchase some, but then also perhaps look into making one myself – like that artist did. The difficult thing is not getting too bogged down in all the different things I love to do, and try, and see, and… and…. I’m doing Joe Dispenza meditations right now, and I have been really enjoying them. I I’m focusing on opening my pineal gland, and suddenly I have been seeing repetitions of the number seven. At the grocery store, online, and even just in other random places. The meaning of which means seems to indicate that I’m “on the right path” and the angels and relations are telling me to keep going because there will be a reward for the hard work. That’s so exciting to me. Hehe. I’ve also been using lapis lazuli (some incredible gems a fellow blogger sent to me recently) and some angel quartz (that I purchased on my recent travels in Manitou Springs – one of the sacred places in North America). My meditations have been incredibly deep lately. I had my timer on for one hour this morning, and when the time rang I didn’t want to stop. My day was beckoning me to begin it, however. But I want to find a way to meditate longer – all my obligations and interests compete for my time, but one of these days…one of these days…hehe.
Sending you big hugs and my apologies for the delay in commenting back. Since returning home, I have been playing “catch up” and trying to visit blogs here and there as I’ve had time. Sending you lots of love, dear friend. So much love.